Trade In Material?
Take a look at this pic! Botox Yes or No? TheDK Report definitely says “ HELL YA!” Terri Hatcher is old, but not THAT old! Look at her, she looks like my grandma I was forced to kiss goodbye when I was five! Don’t ever date them long enough to let them look like this! If you get married, sorry bud but your done!
Make sure you stick to the TheDKreport trademark! Identify if they are TRADE IN MATERIAL! To make it short, girls get worse as they get older. Wrinkles, freshman 20 pounds, and bags under their eyes. Us guys get more attractive and distinguished. Just compare, Terry Hatcher at 45, Cameron Diaz is not what she looked like on the Mask. Now Clooney is 4 years older than Terry and 11 years older than Cameron. Every girl thinks Clooney’s a stud and Terry…. I wouldn’t turn my head if she was walking down the street.
So, when out on the prowl make sure you check id! Two reasons, you don’t want them to be under 18 and go to jail as a pervert and if there nearing 26, its almost time to trade her in!
TheDKreport TIP: Let a girl know that they are close to be traded in for a 21 year old. It breaks them down and subconsciously makes them try to chase you at their old age! Works every time!

What does your place look like?
If your single then there aren’t any women over on a daily basis to clean up, do laundry, and disinfect around the place! Even if you are an organized guy, it can look like a Tornado hit it your place, trust me. A Friday night party can leave a mess for weeks!

Chances are you let the dishes pile in the sink, have a Mt. Rushmore of laundry on the floor and the smell of dirty socks you wore at your last game is your new incense! THEN to top it off, the ketchup from that $6 dollar burger from your 2am food run that got all over the place, is still dripping off the kitchen table.

The Problem. You ACTUALLY get a response from the text messages you sent out to all the girls you know and 3 chicks will be coming over within 10 minutes! That leaves you with five minutes to clean and five minutes to freshen up!

The solution! THE FIVE MINUTE CLEAN! As long as you have some Fabreeze, a wash clothe, vacuum, soap and sink, and oh yeah most important a super huge closet! Then your bachelor pad will again look like a 5 star Suite in know time!

Step 1. Put all the dirty dishes in the sink and fill it with soap and water. Let the soap fiz up and cover the dishes, while the sinks is filling with water you quickly wipe down the counters and kitchen is good.

Step2. You put all your dirty clothes in the laundry basket and put a towel on top of that. shove it all in your closet and spray febreeze. Anything that needs to be put away toss into the closet and make your bed.

Step3. Take the wash cloth and quickly wipe the 2 inch thick of dust off your tables and TV. A quick wipe down makes them look brand new.

Step4. Now depending on how much time you have you have to pick. Clean the bathroom or vacuum. If you have girls coming over they will use the bathroom. Guys look at your toilets and sink. Most girls might puke. Scrub the toilet and the rim, quickly wipe down the sink and as much of the mirror as you can. doesn’t have to be perfect but don’t leave stuff in the toilet!

Side note: As your walking from room to room spray air freshener and open all windows.

If you want the girls to come back then make it clean.

A truly gratuitous and bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggest that staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, ogling at women’s breasts is equivalent to an intense exercise regime that can help prolong the lifespan of a man by five years.

“Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” says according to Dr. Weatherby.

The research was conducted over a five-year span on 200 healthy men. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

At the close of the study, the researchers noted that the men who stared at the breasts of females on a regular basis exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease.

The researchers declared that sexual desire gives rise to better blood circulation that signifies an overall improved health.

Weatherby explained the concept stating, “Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There’s no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthy.

“Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years.”

In addition, she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes.

The German research is believed to be published in the New England Journal of Medicine.

So next time you tell your girl your off to the gym head to the strip club -TheD

Here is Askmen.com Cologne Do’s and Don’t’s

COLOGNE DOS
Try before you buy
There is only one way to tell how a scent will actually smell, and it doesn’t involve scratching and sniffing a magazine or fragrance-laced piece of card stock from an overly aggressive sales girl at the perfume counter. A self-test on your skin is the single, surefire method for determining its reaction with your body chemistry. That’s why you should try before you buy. Then, wait a day before committing to reveal any potential allergic reactions and ensure the scent will last. If you need more help picking a cologne, we’re your resource.

Watch what you eat
Body chemistry is a key factor when considering the dos and don’ts of cologne. The problem: Chemistry isn’t consistent. One trip to the Indian buffet, a gorge-fest of fried chicken or throwing back a beer can make cologne smell stronger — and not in a good way. We love spicy, fatty man-food just as much as the next guy. So, if you’re going for gastronomic gold, let your scent sit this round out. As for date night, well, we shouldn’t have to tell you that the best you could hope for after a curry dinner is a goodnight handshake.

Reapply if you have dry skin
When it comes to cologne, knowing your skin type is mission critical. Oily complexions maintain scent longer, with fewer and less frequent applications. The additional moisture on the surface of the skin acts as a chemical activator (think of it as a consolation prize for those years spent as a pimple-ridden teenager). Drier skin, on the other hand, is just the opposite — it’s like a sponge soaking up that sweet scent. Go for an extra squirt and make sure to recharge for a night on the town.

Apply after a hot shower
Like most things in life, timing is everything. So, naturally, there is a prime time for applying fragrance — like after a hot shower or bath. The water temperature and steam assist in prying pores open, which in turn, sop up scent. They’re what keep you smelling fresh (or not) all day long. And while attempting to scent unshowered skin isn’t the worst cologne crime in the world, you do run the risk of instigating a nasty cover-up.

COLOGNE DON’TS
Douse
We all know that guy who has a perpetual trail of saturated scent you can smell from a mile away. It announces his coming and going in the most olfactorily offensive way possible — the classic case of foul play with a trigger-happy hand as the culprit. Instead of dousing (and needlessly wasting that precious liquid), spraying at the pulse points is a more effective way of application and, honestly, a cologne basic. A dab behind the ears, on the wrists and at the base of the throat — essentially, anywhere the blood vessels are close to the skin’s surface — is all you need to maximize your musk. And remember, when in doubt, less is more. No one likes to be assaulted with smell no matter how pleasant you think it is.

Use scented soaps
Cool rain and arctic blast may seem like the perfect pals for shower time. What’s the problem then? Strongly scented soaps and body washes can mix in unintended ways with any cologne applied afterward. At best, the soap smell will overpower any lighter fragrance making it seem as though the cologne is barely there. But more likely, the cool, clean scent of that manly mountain-mist body wash you’ve been using for years will alter the smell of the cologne you just dropped 80 bucks on. We’re not recommending you switch to some new-age fragrance-free brand. Just go for something lighter than normal.

Think one scent is enough
Despite the old advice of finding a signature scent and sticking to it, men must remember the importance of changing things up. This isn’t just for kicks — there is a method to the madness. As seasons change, cologne must follow suit. A full-bodied fragrance for mid-July doesn’t match the mood and can be overpowering. The opposite is true too: Lighter scents get lost in colder temperatures come winter time. But the solution isn’t to stock up on your favorite 50 colognes. Instead, opt for just two to complement the seasons. A citrusy scent for spring and summer should give way to woodsy, spicy selections in fall.

Wait around
Men have a bad habit of hoarding unopened cologne bottles for use at a later date. We tend to stockpile them as though they’d be useful in a nuclear attack. But colognes have a shelf-life: Three years to be exact. After that, the natural oils in the bottle lose their intensity and go rancid. The good news is that three years is a long time, so if it takes you longer than that to use up your stash, it just wasn’t mean to be. And don’t think that a pristine bottle fairs any better. This rule holds true for all colognes whether they’re still wrapped in plastic or on their last drop.

We have all been that guy that gets made fun of while driving around with your guys for being whooped! There are few simple rules that you can use to stay out of the spotlight and will also help you with your girl and more importantly being made fun of by your boys.

Attention is good, but too much keeps you less interesting and doesn’t keep them coming back! Follow these three rules and you’ll be fine.

1. Don’t ever answer the phone at the gym! If she can get you to answer at the gym, she knows she has you, and can get you anywhere. Plus you look like a duesche bag to everyone else talking to your girlfriend and not working out.

2. KEEP YOUR PLANS! If you’ve made plans with your buddies and already let your girl know, Do NOT whatsoever let her convince you to change them. Even its just playing basketball with the guys. If you do it once she will always try to do it. It also lets her know that you have a life besides being at her side. Plus flaking on friends makes you look like a P%$$y.

3. Out with the guys! Check in once before you leave and once before you go home! No need for a play by play with her all night! You don’t need to lie or hide things from your girl, (most of the times) but she is not your probation officer and remember your out to get a little space and have fun with the guys.

If your not sure what to do just think of one thing. What would the most interesting man in the world do??

st barts

Top Spot for Topless Beaches!

1. Anse du Gouverneur
St. Barts, French West Indies
“All the beaches in the French West Indies are top- optional and several are clothing- optional as well. There is no pressure from anyone to go topless or nude; the choice is entirely personal, and no one cares either way. A very European attitude.

blacks beach

2. Black’s Beach
San Diego, California
“One of the nation’s iconic nude beaches, San Diego’s majestically situated Black’s Beach – clothed, partially clothed, scantily clothed, unclothed, and all permutations thereof. This 2-miles stretch of soft sand lies at the base of 300-foot cliffs near University

clifton beach

3. Clifton Beach
Cape Town, South Africa
“It is an exclusive residential area and is home to some of the most expensive real estate in South Africa, with dwellings nestled on cliffs that have sweeping views of the Atlantic Ocean. The area has a set of 4 beaches which are frequently used destinations for both locals and tourists.”

copacababa

4. Copacabana Beach
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
“Copacabana is also famous for its nightlife, in particular for the club HELP, a favorite of local hookers. Rows of restaurants and bars line the beach and locals dance on the streets doing Capoeira.
There are 63 hotels and 10 hostels in Copacabana so you won’t be short of Place to stay.

sttropez

5. La Voile Rouge
St. Tropez, France
the ultimate jet set spot of the French Riviera, located on one of the most beautiful gulfs in the Mediterranean, the infamous Gulf of St Tropez!
hosts the best beach in the south of France. In the summer the Mediterranean sparkles in the sun and people relax or pose on the beaches. For example, the topless beach.

You postponed the marriage proposal for as long as possible.The engagement was inevitable but you did a solid job of dodging it for as long as possible without losing your girl. All good things must come to an end, including the single life.

Now you’re engaged, and honestly, it’s really not that bad of a position. It comes with quite a few perks you never thought about, like a ton of engagement gifts, much more attention from friends and family and a little more alone time because she is out preparing for the wedding. You still get nights to yourself to hang with the guys. This situation might be even better than bachelorhood.

This engagement needs to last as long as possible. It’s not that you are opposed to marrying her — you did propose, after all, and a proposal is a promise — but you want to drag this engagement out to keep reaping the benefits. But how can you pull it off without looking like you’ve developed cold feet? While we don’t condone any underhanded behavior or playing tricks on her to back out of the engagement — moves like that will probably just get you dumped — here are some ideas on how to prolong your engagement and to keep your bachelor status alive for as long as possible.

Don’t commit to a date

A specific date means an exact end. A grand finale to the ringless finger. The final curtain on the first act of your life, titled “The Single Life.” Are we being dramatic enough?

The first course of action is to not commit on a date or even really discuss any specifics about months or seasons. To successfully implement this strategy, the groundwork should have been laid out the moment you got down on one knee and slipped the ring on her finger. Something to the effect of “this is a promise that some day, in the future, we will be husband and wife.” Notice the key words were “promise” and “future” — two huge words for a guy to spit out. Hearing this should ease her doubts about being together for the long haul. This move has dual purposes: it alleviates the pressure of everyone asking when you’re getting engaged and buys you even more time in putting off the big day. She won’t mind or even notice. She’ll be too busy showing off the rock to single friends and basking in the attention.

If she is wary of your long-view approach, explain that it’s not uncommon for couples to put off setting a date. People rush into wedding planning, and are often at the mercy of reception halls and wedding venues, forced to settle on a time and date based on availability. Places are often booked a year or even two in advance so you’re forced to pick a day that doesn’t really have significance to you. Waiting is actually a smart move because it allows your fiance to wait for the preferred time of year and possibly choose the exact date to exchange vows.

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Here are certain things all guys should keep in their car. You never know where the day or night might take you. A sudden call to go to a bar, a date, and even a quick road trip. Here are a few items that you should make sure you have ready.

Always keep a small bathroom bag that contains a toothbrush, tooth paste, deodorant and mouth wash. It’s not like these things take up a lot of space. You can keep them in your trunk or glove box. These are always good to have. If you’re out late drinking you might be borderline about driving. Brush your teeth and use the mouth wash. If you met a hot girls and your going to her place or yours use it!!!. Just getting off work and want to go out and not stop home then you can have fresh breath. The last thing a girl wants is for you to walk over and say hi, and your breath smells like ass.

Cologne you should always have. Keep it in your side door panel or gloves boxes you have. This will also help after drinking so you and your car won’t smell bad. Plus you always want to keep your self smelling fresh especially during the summer when its hot outside.

Jeans and a nice button shirt. Fold them as nice as you can, keep them in a small bag with the rest of your items or on their own. During summer time I would recommend keeping shorts also with you that will match the shirt. You never know where the night is going to take you or where you might end up in the morning.

Without keeping these items in your car this will limit you on having fun or cost you money constantly having to buy new things. So the next time a girl says come over to my place tonight or your friends say after work were getting in the car and rolling to Vegas your ready!

Dont use these lines at bars.. if you do tell us how it went!!

Here are lines that were used on some girls and what they thought!!!

10.) I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true: Then why are you still here?

9.)Are your legs tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long: Do I LOOK like a hamster on a wheel to you?

8.) I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away: Even if I did, you wouldn’t reap the benefits, because this pick up line really, really needs to die. Ugh.

7.) Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no: Oh so easy, watch. NO.

6.) “Did it hurt?” Then you ask “Did what hurt?”, They say – “When you fell from heaven.”: Does anyone have a cracker, I need somewhere to put this CHEESE. Ugh.

5.) You got something on your chest: my eyes: Oh THAT’S original, and gross. We all know you’re looking at our chest, but why would you say that?

4.) Kiss me if I am wrong, but isn’t your name ( they take a guess)…Janice????: No matter how wrong they are, they always get,”Why yes, YES IT IS.”

3.) What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper: So it’s green, swollen, and angry? NO THANKS.

2.) If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib: If that were the case, and you were the one that would be dining on me, then dear god let PETA intercede on my behalf.

And the number one pickup line, that I’ve heard used on me, and so many others so frequently, that is just awful.

1.) Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only TEN I see: