Are you in the friend zone? Do you even know what the friend zone is? When a guy and a girl hang out and the guy wants to be more then friends or friends with benefits, but you waited to long and missed your chance to make a move! You are now officially “In The FRIEND Zone.”

Here are 5 signs that can tell you if you entered the Friend Zone!

5. When you hang out, she doesn’t get all dressed up to impress you.
4. She can talk to you about other guys she is dating or might like.
3. Tells you what type of guy she likes and you don’t match that description.
2. Will come over to get drunk and know you don’t have the balls to make a move.
1. Doesn’t care if you see her in her Bra because “You’re just friends”

Whatever your style is there are basic bullet points you need to know about what you look like! Remember the DK report moddo. You aint a PIMP with out a LIMP, and you ain’t a PLAYER if you don’t LAYER! Here are 3 tips to keep your game on point!

SHOES. The first thing A women looks at no matter what you have on is your shoes. No matter how cool your get up is, it’s the shoes that gets you past the first step. Even if they are ugly, make sure they are new and clean. Very simple.

SMELL: After girl gets to know you a little better, you should be to the point where you are having some sort of physical contact. Whether it’s a hug, kiss, or even a flirting like your in kindergarten……she’s close enough to smell you. Get to the local Saphora and find a long lasting good smell. Be on the look out for our article on how to pick your cologne soon.

LAYERING: First impressions are always good hence shoes a key, and smell is next, but when shes’ really into you…..she will start to see how detailed you are in various ways. This may not even come until the honeymoon stage is over, but….it will come. So have some nice GQ attire ready to use when needed. Try some nice jeans with your clean white/black shoes and a white business shirt on. Then depending on the night, throw on a light colored vest on as well. This will show you have some extra style that your normal competition doesn’t have. That will for sure get you into month 4 with a girl.

Let us know how it works! If Jay Z can get Beyonce with this, who can you get?

Make sure your not any of the 8 reasons below. If you are, you better change it up or your just another douschebag.

8 Your iPod is attached to your bicep
7 You bring outside gym equipment in
6 You slam the weights on the ground
5 You wear any type of bandana
4 You wear Vibram FiveFingers shoes
3 You are drinking three different drinks all at the same time
2 You sing or rap your music
1 You have naked conversations in the locker room

Swaaaawing for the Fences!

One day you will wake up and your 40 and you will always say, “if only I knew then, what I know now.” That is a common phrase herd through highschool, college, the business world etc. Don’t catch yourself saying that…….get out there and hit a homerun!

Most guys go for chicks they “know” then can get. Its called chasing a gaurantee! Screw that…..point out the hottest girl in the place and take a swing. SUPER HOT CHICKS also need loving too! Remember Babe Ruth struck out about 9 times to 1 compared to homeruns he it, but he’s only remembered as the Great Bambino! See what you can do and go for it!

If its in the strike zone, take a crack!

Simple but smart. Guys, you need to pay attention. Girls, you may want to go to another article for this. Have you ever been with your current girlfriend or a girl you are working to make your girlfriend and your buddies are calling you to go out? Then they ask you questions like “lets go look for girls and have some FUN?” or “ was she a screamer?” and all of a sudden you get quiet and start acting weird with your buddies on the phone. Your answers are real short and like….. “ya sounds good,” “ Ah huh” or “I’ll call ya when I’m home.” We’ll this is a case where guy code is VERY valuable especially when on speaker phone in the car.

This small and quick code has saved many relationships ( at least for two additional weeks) in some cases. With your 5 closest buddies you talk to on a regular basis, find a type of food that you all never eat and make that code for I’m with my girlfriend right now. This instantly triggers us retards not to say stupid things that will get us in trouble, such as “Hey how was that blonde last week…..” especially when your girl friend is a red head!

Indian food seems to be a keeper that all can remember. So men, coordinate so that if you EVER mention Indian food on the phone, its time to cut the convo short or keep it to work, basketball, football, or anything we normally talk about besides ass.

Here is a sample scenario of how a convo “should” go to prevent Need A Snicker moment with your lady.

Phone Rings: Ring, Ring, Ring.

The K: ( answers: “Hey D, what’s going on? I’m just driving along PCH on my way back home.”
The D: “Cool, well my girl is out for the WHOLE weekend, so lets make sure to go out and drink vodka and ……
The K cuts him off immediately:The K: “Eat some “Indian Food. I’ve had so much In N Out burger that only “Indian Food” sounds good to me. Think about and call me back. “

Who knows what the D was going to say there….so make sure to not let a small thing start a fight with your girl. Take this one with you guys, it will save lots of drama. And ladies, if you did read the article, think about the next time your guy says some random type of food he wants to go to all of a sudden or if its happened in the past! Haha!

DUI CLASS!!!!
This is awesome! Here are 3 reasons why its best to pick up in this class!

3rd Best Reason: You are not allowed to tell anyone you know each other!
2nd Best Reason: She can’t judge you because she has no license either!!
1st Best Reason: You know she drinks, so you are sure to get laid!
Look above. They may “look” innocent but there all drunks!

Now All you have to do is get a DUI! haha!

What does your place look like?
If your single then there aren’t any women over on a daily basis to clean up, do laundry, and disinfect around the place! Even if you are an organized guy, it can look like a Tornado hit it your place, trust me. A Friday night party can leave a mess for weeks!

Chances are you let the dishes pile in the sink, have a Mt. Rushmore of laundry on the floor and the smell of dirty socks you wore at your last game is your new incense! THEN to top it off, the ketchup from that $6 dollar burger from your 2am food run that got all over the place, is still dripping off the kitchen table.

The Problem. You ACTUALLY get a response from the text messages you sent out to all the girls you know and 3 chicks will be coming over within 10 minutes! That leaves you with five minutes to clean and five minutes to freshen up!

The solution! THE FIVE MINUTE CLEAN! As long as you have some Fabreeze, a wash clothe, vacuum, soap and sink, and oh yeah most important a super huge closet! Then your bachelor pad will again look like a 5 star Suite in know time!
Step 1. Put all the dirty dishes in the sink and fill it with soap and water. Let the soap fiz up and cover the dishes, while the sinks is filling with water you quickly wipe down the counters and kitchen is good.

Step2. You put all your dirty clothes in the laundry basket and put a towel on top of that. shove it all in your closet and spray febreeze. Anything that needs to be put away toss into the closet and make your bed.

Step3. Take the wash cloth and quickly wipe the 2 inch thick of dust off your tables and TV. A quick wipe down makes them look brand new.

Step4. Now depending on how much time you have you have to pick. Clean the bathroom or vacuum. If you have girls coming over they will use the bathroom. Guys look at your toilets and sink. Most girls might puke. Scrub the toilet and the rim, quickly wipe down the sink and as much of the mirror as you can. doesn’t have to be perfect but don’t leave stuff in the toilet!

Side note: As your walking from room to room spray air freshener and open all windows.

If you want the girls to come back then make it clean.

Is She Psychotically Jealous?

So your girlfriend called you on it when you blatantly flirted with the cute blonde at the cash register. No biggie, right? A little jealousy is healthy, even cute. It shows she cares enough about you to feel a little threatened by an attractive woman.
Now, if she instead proceeded to open the egg carton, fire each one at you, scream accusations and tug at said blonde cashier’s hair for good measure, she might be a touch psychotic.

Driven to lunacy by her insecurity, the psychotically jealous woman will go to any length to force unreasonable faithfulness on you, so afraid is she of losing you. Never listening to reason, not even constant assurances that you only care about her, she overreacts to any suggestion of adulterous behavior you may show, real or imagined.

No man should put up with this kind of grief. If your woman exhibits the following traits, it’s time for a change.

No.10 – She gets angry when you look at other women

Here’s a little-known fact: Women get more jealous of the women they look at than the ones you do. So, even if your eyes don’t follow some stunner passing by, she’ll assume otherwise — and bitch about it.

No.9 – She doesn’t want you to go out with your buddies

Of course, she’ll assume you’re out womanizing with your pack of consummate lechers, or you’re being bombarded with sexual opportunities that you’re too weak or too unscrupulous to resist.

No.8 – She gets upset over rational actions

Every minute you’re with her is a minute you’re not possibly cavorting with other women, even if the time you’re not with her is spent on entirely innocent things, like visiting your mother or other relatives.

No.7 – She interrogates your friends

She undoubtedly has her network of spies, but she may not draw the line at subtlety and will start to ask your friends to “rat” on you. She has no problem breaching the sacred circle of male confidentiality to find out everything you’re not telling her. Basically, she’s convinced you’re lying to her and is desperately trying to expose you.

No.6 – She shows up at the bar/club you’re at with your friends

She may play it off as a coincidence, but she planned it all along. And now that she’s there, you two might as well spend the evening together. Better yet, why don’t you two just go home right now?

No.5 – She suspects you’re cheating with a colleague

Every time you work late, you’re cheating on her with a colleague; she’s pretty much convinced herself of that. So, she’ll occasionally surprise you at work to make sure you’re at your cubicle, or that your office door isn’t closed. She may be jealous of your colleagues and can’t stand the fact that attractive women work in the same building as you. If you have a new secretary or young pretty new recruit, expect an inquisition — every single night

No.4 – She makes a scene in public

No place, time or company is inappropriate for professing her jealousy. Be it in front of your family, friends or in public, the accusations will fly, loud and clear.

No.3 – She doesn’t want you to have single friends

A jealous woman is a control freak. For her, everyone you know is a potential threat to her sphere of influence — they can entice you away from her snares and corrupt your weak, innocent mind. And your single friends only exist to corrupt you.

No.2 – She accuses you of cheating on her every week

You’re guilty until proven innocent in her eyes. Even if you prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you’re totally faithful, and she apologizes for her suspicions, it will start all over again next week.

No.1 – She keeps tabs on you

If your relationship is eerily evocative of a private detective novel, you might be in the hands of a jealous nut. Telltale behaviors include the following: she calls you many times a day to see where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing, possibly on the cell phone she bought you for that very purpose.

She checks your cell phone bill and call history for any suspicious numbers. She also periodically scans your internet search history and cached files for potential porn.

She checks traffic reports to see if you were actually stuck in traffic when you come home late. She rummages through your stuff when you’re not around, doing a lousy job of covering her tracks. This may also include your dirty laundry, which she combs for women’s perfume and/or lipstick, and telephone numbers.

Finally, she confronts you about the things she finds, or if there’s nothing incriminating, she’ll just keep looking.  (Askmen.com)

You postponed the marriage proposal for as long as possible.The engagement was inevitable but you did a solid job of dodging it for as long as possible without losing your girl. All good things must come to an end, including the single life.

Now you’re engaged, and honestly, it’s really not that bad of a position. It comes with quite a few perks you never thought about, like a ton of engagement gifts, much more attention from friends and family and a little more alone time because she is out preparing for the wedding. You still get nights to yourself to hang with the guys. This situation might be even better than bachelorhood.

This engagement needs to last as long as possible. It’s not that you are opposed to marrying her — you did propose, after all, and a proposal is a promise — but you want to drag this engagement out to keep reaping the benefits. But how can you pull it off without looking like you’ve developed cold feet? While we don’t condone any underhanded behavior or playing tricks on her to back out of the engagement — moves like that will probably just get you dumped — here are some ideas on how to prolong your engagement and to keep your bachelor status alive for as long as possible.

Don’t commit to a date

A specific date means an exact end. A grand finale to the ringless finger. The final curtain on the first act of your life, titled “The Single Life.” Are we being dramatic enough?

The first course of action is to not commit on a date or even really discuss any specifics about months or seasons. To successfully implement this strategy, the groundwork should have been laid out the moment you got down on one knee and slipped the ring on her finger. Something to the effect of “this is a promise that some day, in the future, we will be husband and wife.” Notice the key words were “promise” and “future” — two huge words for a guy to spit out. Hearing this should ease her doubts about being together for the long haul. This move has dual purposes: it alleviates the pressure of everyone asking when you’re getting engaged and buys you even more time in putting off the big day. She won’t mind or even notice. She’ll be too busy showing off the rock to single friends and basking in the attention.

If she is wary of your long-view approach, explain that it’s not uncommon for couples to put off setting a date. People rush into wedding planning, and are often at the mercy of reception halls and wedding venues, forced to settle on a time and date based on availability. Places are often booked a year or even two in advance so you’re forced to pick a day that doesn’t really have significance to you. Waiting is actually a smart move because it allows your fiance to wait for the preferred time of year and possibly choose the exact date to exchange vows.

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