If you want a girl like this...

Then you better get ripped

2 weeks! Drop 10 pounds!

This is not for everyone and if you pass out and die that’s on you. See your doctor or do your homework before trying this.. It worked for me and I am still alive!!!

It’s not too late to enjoy this summer at the beach! Every guy wants the hot gal with a rockin body at the beach! Well fellas, the girls want the same. Make sure you’re prepared before you take off your shirt!

Get on a diet, get a tan, and lift some weights! With the
DKreport diet program you can lose 10 pounds in two weeks and look decent enough to work the beach scene!

Ingredients you will need for breakfast and lunch:
Lemon Detox Diet

Water
Cayenne Pepper
Maple Syrup
Lemons

Early Dinner ( no later than 5:30 pm)
Light dinner salad. ONLY lettuce and no dressing. Only if it’s fat free! After week one grilled chicken breast. Keep the carbs and calories down!

Daily Exercise
30 minute jog a decent to fast pace

Every Other Day
200 – 400 crunches a
50 -150 push ups

This is not easy at all.. The first day is not bad but it gets worse. If you can make it a week and you see your self start to lose some pounds it helps. If you at work its not to bad cause if your busy time flys. When you come home that’s a bitch.. Just go to bed if you cant control the hunger!!

!!!Now are warning so we don’t get sued: We are not fitness experts or in the health field. If you’re to scared to try ask your doctor about it. If they tell you NO then stay fat. !!!

Popularity: 5% [?]

OK, let’s be honest. Sometimes men are bad at choosing gifts. Your intentions are good, but pick the wrong gift and you send the wrong message. So before you go out and buy a present for your girlfriend, wife or whoever that lovely lady is in your life, be sure to read these gift no-no’s first.

10. Tools. Unless she’s a handywoman or she’s told you her great desire to take out the bathtub and build a new one, I’d save the wrenches for someone else—maybe yourself.

9. A vacuum. Any cleaning or kitchen appliance says, “Honey, clean the house for me.” Your wife or girlfriend wants to be the more than a housekeeper in your life.

8. A badminton racket. If it’s a sport you like but she doesn’t, forget it. To be on the safe side, I’d stay away from any sports equipment, period.

7. Clothes. Now, some men are very good at buying clothes and they know the exact size of their woman. However, you must keep in mind that women are shaped very differently and sizes can vary depending on store. For example, I am a size 5 at one store and a size 7 at another, and I have shirts that are size small or large. To avoid complications, I suggest buying a gift certificate at your wife or girlfriend’s favorite mall.

6. Tickets to the monster truck rally. I have a feeling that I’m in the minority when it comes to women who enjoy monster truck rallies, so if I were you, I wouldn’t even bother lining up for tickets. And yes, this includes the car show, the motorcycle show, the boat show, NASCAR races…OK, you get my point.

5. A box of Christmas cards. You may be thinking, “Why would I ever think of buying that?” but you’ll be surprised. In a conversation about the worst gifts ever, a friend of mine said, “Can you believe that a guy who was interested in me bought me a box of Christmas cards?” If you don’t want to be the subject of such conversations between women, then don’t get her a box of Christmas cards!

4. Quicken. I don’t care if it’s Quicken, Quark, Photoshop or Simply Accounting, Christmas just isn’t the time to buy software for your wife or girlfriend. Wait until you’re both doing your taxes.

3. Socks. Yes, socks are useful, but they’re just not the type of Christmas gift a woman is thrilled about. I don’t feel a need to explain further.

2. Fruitcake. Yes, Christmas fruitcakes last about 12 years, but that’s because nobody eats them. And neither will your wife.

1. Membership to a diet program. Maybe she’s told you that she’s always wanted to join one. Maybe she’s told you that she thinks she’s fat. Does that mean you think she’s not beautiful and won’t be until she loses weight? I sure hope not. But that’s exactly what a membership to a diet program says. Exercise videos have the same effect. Men, flee from the infomercials that convince you otherwise!

(iamnext)

Popularity: 11% [?]

Dont use these lines at bars.. if you do tell us how it went!!

Here are lines that were used on some girls and what they thought!!!

10.) I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true: Then why are you still here?

9.)Are your legs tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long: Do I LOOK like a hamster on a wheel to you?

8.) I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away: Even if I did, you wouldn’t reap the benefits, because this pick up line really, really needs to die. Ugh.

7.) Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no: Oh so easy, watch. NO.

6.) “Did it hurt?” Then you ask “Did what hurt?”, They say – “When you fell from heaven.”: Does anyone have a cracker, I need somewhere to put this CHEESE. Ugh.

5.) You got something on your chest: my eyes: Oh THAT’S original, and gross. We all know you’re looking at our chest, but why would you say that?

4.) Kiss me if I am wrong, but isn’t your name ( they take a guess)…Janice????: No matter how wrong they are, they always get,”Why yes, YES IT IS.”

3.) What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper: So it’s green, swollen, and angry? NO THANKS.

2.) If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib: If that were the case, and you were the one that would be dining on me, then dear god let PETA intercede on my behalf.

And the number one pickup line, that I’ve heard used on me, and so many others so frequently, that is just awful.

1.) Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only TEN I see:

Popularity: 7% [?]

The rules of the corporate bathroom.  Some people think that professionals do not drink or have a good time, if this is what you think you must have your eyes closed. Your ever walk into a nice building use their bathroom and see all the stuff listed below ??

The essentials for any corporate bathroom are these;

The bathroom must consist of Mouth Wash and Disposable Toothbrush. These are for obvious reasons. You have a drink at lunch or 5 drinks you need to get the smell out. Also good for when you are hooking up with an ex that works close by, you really need to brush before you come home to your significant other.

Cologne, now they put cologne in here for the rookies.. For some reason if you don’t carry an extra bottle in your car on in your office you can always use a squirt of the cheap bathroom stuff to get the cocktail waitress perfume off you.

Tide pen. What’s this? This is a small pen that will help get those small little make up stains that you will get on your collar when you are fooling around with the hostess at your favorite lunch spot.

Now this is the most important thing that you can have. I know most will not have this, but the top professional companies will and have it for a reason.  A shower!! They think that you will work hard and need to shower to wake up, or that you come in early, WRONG!! This is the key when you are sleeping with your secretary and need to get the smell of dirty kinky sex off of you before you come home to your wife and kids..

Now the next time you re in an office building and they have these items laying out for you, take a second and think about what really goes on in this office!

Popularity: 5% [?]

Beware of the cheating ghost! Men and Women, whatever you do…..DON’T CHEAT!
The DK report is straight forward, sometimes comes off as cocky “and” become of our extreme interest in hot women….people may think we are supportive of CHEATERS!

NOT the case! It is immoral, but the issues that are brought about from cheating are way worse. I’m not going to list them, you already know what they are, especially if you have cheated or know people who have! What I can talk to you about is THE CHEATING GHOST!!!! read on

Popularity: 9% [?]

Here are 4 ways guys get to Vegas, without getting guilt from their girl..

1. Your Single, enough said.

2. You just popped the question to your girlfriend and gave her a FAT Diamond. She will say yes to anything for the next 7 days.

3. You and your girl are fighting and you find yourself in that gray area of together or not together. Time to head to Vegas!

4. Your Charlie Sheen. Just do what you want when you want and don’t give a Fu@k, we all have one of those guys in the group!

So when was the last time you went to Vegas, and what category did you fall under?

Popularity: 8% [?]

Here is a little chart to help guys and girls with their one night stands. Follow this and you should be just fine..

Popularity: 10% [?]

To excel in the dating game it is important to be guided by the player and they don’t come much better than date doctor Alex Hitchens in short ‘Hitch’. So we took his word as a piece of gospel when he said that ‘With no guile and no game there is no girl’. These are few of the tips from his movie ‘Hitch’ to help you guys to see the forest through the sleaze.
Principle 1: No woman wakes up saying god I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today
No species after bacteria existed on the planet that doesn’t require admiration from the fellow species. Women are on the top of this ladder so not only they want it but also all of it. Did I say women are high on vanity chart (don’t tell your prospect this).
If she tell you that she is going through a very bad time or need personal space or Hitch personal favorite that I’m really into my career right now. What she really meant is get off me now or try harder stupid. Which one is it for you to decide? See The Rest

Popularity: 15% [?]

The Daily Grind or a Walk down the Yellow Brick Road”

Are you cut out for it? Some men and women put on a show and say they ARE, but most are not!

Being single isn’t for everybody. Truthfully, it can be hard. Just like sports or work, sometimes it can be streaky. Try going through a hitting slump in baseball! It SUCKS! To think you once could hit any ball pitched to you and then all of a sudden you look like a 5 year old in little league. What about work. One month your closings deals left and right then all of a sudden you can’t even get a deal. This is identical to the single life, especially in southern California. One day you’re walking down the street and out of nowhere, you find 3 hot blondes for fun! With three dates lined up you’re certain to get action. Even if you don’t, chasing it is fun also! Then, it turns around. One day you couldn’t even pay for a girl to hang with you, and your back in the slump. When you’re in the slump try to remember its just short term. Being single is a lot of fun and well worth it. Just think of that next hot blonde that will be around the next turn, cause there’s always one waiting!

What is it YOU want?

Popularity: 13% [?]

A truly gratuitous and bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggest that staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, ogling at women’s breasts is equivalent to an intense exercise regime that can help prolong the lifespan of a man by five years.

“Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” says according to Dr. Weatherby.

The research was conducted over a five-year span on 200 healthy men. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

At the close of the study, the researchers noted that the men who stared at the breasts of females on a regular basis exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease.

The researchers declared that sexual desire gives rise to better blood circulation that signifies an overall improved health.

Weatherby explained the concept stating, “Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There’s no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthy.

“Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years.”

In addition, she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes.

The German research is believed to be published in the New England Journal of Medicine.

So next time you tell your girl your off to the gym head to the strip club -TheD

Popularity: 16% [?]