Are you in the friend zone? Do you even know what the friend zone is? When a guy and a girl hang out and the guy wants to be more then friends or friends with benefits, but you waited to long and missed your chance to make a move! You are now officially “In The FRIEND Zone.”

Here are 5 signs that can tell you if you entered the Friend Zone!

5. When you hang out, she doesn’t get all dressed up to impress you.
4. She can talk to you about other guys she is dating or might like.
3. Tells you what type of guy she likes and you don’t match that description.
2. Will come over to get drunk and know you don’t have the balls to make a move.
1. Doesn’t care if you see her in her Bra because “You’re just friends”

GUYS MONEY FOR YOU!

When your looking for a girl to settle down with, your all thinking about the hotter, older, more settled down Sugar Mama! This is good thinking……for a short term ordeal but not for the long run. Heres how to make sure you have a hot girl who can actually get other guys money to pay for all your cool stuff!!!! Make sure she has ALL these three jobs at the SAME time!!! Make sure she’s a:

1. Stripper
2. Cocktail waitress
3 Escort

Now your BALLIN!!!

Make sure your not any of the 8 reasons below. If you are, you better change it up or your just another douschebag.

8 Your iPod is attached to your bicep
7 You bring outside gym equipment in
6 You slam the weights on the ground
5 You wear any type of bandana
4 You wear Vibram FiveFingers shoes
3 You are drinking three different drinks all at the same time
2 You sing or rap your music
1 You have naked conversations in the locker room

Swaaaawing for the Fences!

One day you will wake up and your 40 and you will always say, “if only I knew then, what I know now.” That is a common phrase herd through highschool, college, the business world etc. Don’t catch yourself saying that…….get out there and hit a homerun!

Most guys go for chicks they “know” then can get. Its called chasing a gaurantee! Screw that…..point out the hottest girl in the place and take a swing. SUPER HOT CHICKS also need loving too! Remember Babe Ruth struck out about 9 times to 1 compared to homeruns he it, but he’s only remembered as the Great Bambino! See what you can do and go for it!

If its in the strike zone, take a crack!

It may take a while to get the girl you want, but it doesn’t take long to get bored of the girl you have! After a few months of living with a chick, things may get to be a little bored. Same sex positions, same morning routine, same dinner again, and the same ole same old stuff! What are you going to do to Rekindle your Relationship

Instead of going to the strip club and getting in trouble, bring the strip club to you! Think of all the crazy, dirty, and fun thoughts you have at the strip club and actually use them. The first thing that turns a guy on is how she looks in those clear high heels. The next is how she smells. Three weeks after getting the best lap dance from the Victoria Secret look alike in Vegas, you can still smell that baby powder smell! Its like your still there.

Now go buy some clear high heels and baby powder and tell your girl to put it on! Now she’s sexy and hot and crazy sex is coming your way for a while!

Simple but smart. Guys, you need to pay attention. Girls, you may want to go to another article for this. Have you ever been with your current girlfriend or a girl you are working to make your girlfriend and your buddies are calling you to go out? Then they ask you questions like “lets go look for girls and have some FUN?” or “ was she a screamer?” and all of a sudden you get quiet and start acting weird with your buddies on the phone. Your answers are real short and like….. “ya sounds good,” “ Ah huh” or “I’ll call ya when I’m home.” We’ll this is a case where guy code is VERY valuable especially when on speaker phone in the car.

This small and quick code has saved many relationships ( at least for two additional weeks) in some cases. With your 5 closest buddies you talk to on a regular basis, find a type of food that you all never eat and make that code for I’m with my girlfriend right now. This instantly triggers us retards not to say stupid things that will get us in trouble, such as “Hey how was that blonde last week…..” especially when your girl friend is a red head!

Indian food seems to be a keeper that all can remember. So men, coordinate so that if you EVER mention Indian food on the phone, its time to cut the convo short or keep it to work, basketball, football, or anything we normally talk about besides ass.

Here is a sample scenario of how a convo “should” go to prevent Need A Snicker moment with your lady.

Phone Rings: Ring, Ring, Ring.

The K: ( answers: “Hey D, what’s going on? I’m just driving along PCH on my way back home.”
The D: “Cool, well my girl is out for the WHOLE weekend, so lets make sure to go out and drink vodka and ……
The K cuts him off immediately:The K: “Eat some “Indian Food. I’ve had so much In N Out burger that only “Indian Food” sounds good to me. Think about and call me back. “

Who knows what the D was going to say there….so make sure to not let a small thing start a fight with your girl. Take this one with you guys, it will save lots of drama. And ladies, if you did read the article, think about the next time your guy says some random type of food he wants to go to all of a sudden or if its happened in the past! Haha!

The worst news a guy can get is when their girlfriend calls and says….”I’m late on my period.” So whats the next step? 9 out of 10 times she’s not pregnant, so you have pretty good odds that your in the clear.

Once a woman is late on her period, she panics. She can’t stop thinking about it and her mind starts playing tricks on her. Everyday that goes by she stresses more and more. When girls stress out, they can’t have their period. The absolute trick to get her to have her period is to get their mind off them not having their period.

The Plan

Once you get the call you must be prepared. Shortly after her saying “I’m late and scared,” wait on day and ask her to go out. Do not let her know where until she commits. Then you’re on your way to the nearest rollercoaster or theme park. This is a no brainer. Get her on a rollercoaster and her mind is somewhere else. If you get to Magic Mountain and she’s on the Viper……..she’ll be bleeding in no time! This is your best bet!

Another great place less direct but does the job….is a pier with carnival. A buccaneer type ride or even bumper cars will have her gushing. Then you’re  back in control and in the driver seat. You tell her this place sucks and off to the bar with your friends.

What’s your technique?

Look cool for the winter! The number one thing a girl looks at is your SHOES! You could be rocking the same old jeans, a two year old raggy shirt, but make sure your kicks are clean, new, and in style. Take a look at these and buy a few. You should be good through the winter.

Get a pair of Trainers by Duffers of St. George

Want to Party! That’s fine just work out just as hard! The work hard play hard work out routine is actually okay by some doctors and trainers. Do your normal cardio and work out routine and add these penalties to it and you’ll stay healthy. So party all you want just know what comes along with it!

Party Substance Penalty
1 Drinks/Shot = Cardio 10 minutes
Fast Food = Cardio 15 minutes
Packs of Cigarettes = Cardio 20 minutes

You spot one out and make a move! Its time to go home! In the room and clothes are OFF! Girls Gone Wild came to your room! So your about to do the deed and a moment of clarity comes to mind? Should I strap it on “or” take it raw dawg!!!! That would be awesome for Raw Dawg your thinking……One question! You whisper in her ear! “Lets PUT one on!

1) if she says….. “Yes go get one”…..then DON’T worry! Get her a little more exited and have at it!
2) If she says…. “ahh….its okay” then WORRY! Go to Rite Aid, 7 11, and do whatever it takes to wear a rubber! She’s a slut and you better be careful.

Simple ways to stay clear guys!!!! Think about it!